The audio link below plays an example roast of Rachael Ray, performed by Master Roaster, Ricky March. Press play to listen:
Transcript of the Roast:
Rachael has an amazing career on the Food Network, or as she likes to call it Feud. Rachael, you go through more husbands than you do olive oil. In fact the EV doesn’t stand for extra virgin it stands for “Endless Viagra.” You struggled with intimacy issues your whole life, so much so that you’ve been known to french toast and pull pork. You got your first break from Oprah, and she’s never helped a Jew since. Without the Food Network, Rachael, you’re nothing more than an autistic Snooki, and that’s insulting, to Snooki. Always a fan of the big wiener, Rachael enjoys packing away a large kielbasa as much as swallowing a kosher cocktail frank. She’s become a big hit with celebrities as well. She’s named a pastry after Neil Patrick Harris, calling it the fluffy fruitcake, and Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan adore her rum balls.